Letter to the Editor: Grandson’s death and mother’s decision to carry bring negativity

Staff Reports • Updated Dec 28, 2017 at 2:00 PM

To the Editor:

Over the last few weeks, my family has had encounters with people where they open their mouths and the ignorance just falls out. I’m a firm believer in that the only cure for ignorance is knowledge. 

With that said, what is bilateral renal agenesis? BRA is the absence of kidneys. It is a genetic mutation that randomly happens in one in 3,000 infants, if not hereditary, as was the case with my grandson. The fact that the infant has no kidneys means there is no active production of amniotic fluid. With out amniotic fluid, the infant’s lungs will not develop. 

Is there a cure? No, there is not. Some hospitals have studies – we were told of two in the New England area – where they offer amniotic infusions, but that is not a guarantee. In fact, there is only one documented case of a child reaching transplant age. God bless that sweet girl. 

Why did they force her to carry? Well, they didn’t. It was completely her choice to carry her son as long as she could – to feel him grow and to learn his habits. Trust me, he would let her know if he didn’t like the way she was sitting, what foods he didn’t like her eating and so on. 

Why didn’t they make her terminate? Well, that would be illegal. Again it was her choice as his mother. 

I don’t understand why she didn’t terminate and just try again. You don’t have to understand. Quite honestly, you couldn’t begin to unless placed in the same situation. 

Would you have been OK with her terminating? She is my daughter, and it is my job to support her decision. 

Is this Potters syndrome? No. He was not given that diagnosis. Potters syndrome is actually a name given to common physical characteristics associated with BRA such as clubbed feet, webbed hands and toes, among others. 

“Prayers to this family, but a picture of his feet for his obit was in very poor taste.” So when my daughter picked the picture of his feet with a cross between his toes, it was because he had perfect toes. As she so eloquently put it, “He left his footprints on so many hearts. It just says it all to me. His innocent footprints made an impact on each of us with the cross of God leading the way for him.”

I guess what I’m getting at is we are all just trying to get through this mess we have created better known as society. Let’s be kind to one another, and remember, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. You don’t have to understand what someone is going through to be kind.

Beth Troupe

Proud Noni of Remi Anthony Davis

Mt. Juliet

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