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Telling Tales: Now showing: Red Dawn – the Sequel

Becky Andrews and Angel Kane • Updated Mar 4, 2018 at 12:00 PM

There has been lots of talk lately about how the Russians may have covertly interceded with our elections. Hitting close to home, there is even talk that one of the Twitter accounts some thought was run by the Tennessee GOP – @TN_GOP – may have, in fact, been set up by the Russians to lead us astray. 

The ultimate result, of course, was to eventually put in a puppet regime to bring down our country. 

If you are my age you must remember the movie “Red Dawn.” 

It was a cult classic ’80s movie, where the Russians physically invade our country. Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Charlie Sheen were the leads as teenagers fighting against the invaders. 

The band of teens takes to the hills and leads an armed resistance against the occupying Russian forces. In one pivotal part, the teens come across their parents in a prison camp where their parents await inevitable death, and as they say their last goodbyes, one father screams out to his boys, “Avenge me, avenge me.” 

I still get chills thinking about it. 

That was when Patrick Swayze was at his prime, Jennifer had her old nose and Charlie was not that weird old guy that freaks us out today. 

Well my fellow ’80s cult movies aficionados, if you haven’t figured it out yet, Red Dawn – the Sequel is upon us.

I don’t know if the Russians are truly behind fake news or the Trump train, but what I do know is that if they are, they have now taken it up a notch, in fact, 1,000 notches.

I present to you the Asian lady beetles also known as those  $#%# flying ladybugs that are invading my home, your home and every home.

Tens of them, hundreds of them, thousands of them.

If you think the Russians are trying to meddle in our day-to-day lives to lead us off course while they slowly take over, then surely my theory may not be far off base. 

Think about it?

At first, we didn’t notice them. 

It was just a harmless ladybug. 

Then they multiplied. And multiplied. And multiplied. To the point that on any given day when we should be working, taking care of our families, studying up on our Electoral College, we are instead chasing these tiny, flying demons. 

If you are like me, you are now on a daily quest to annihilate them. But as soon as you suck their little bodies into your vacuum, 20 more appear out of thin air.

I’ve Googled; I’ve called; I’ve taken to Facebook. 

Only to find out they are everywhere and no one knows from whence they came or how to get rid of them. 

Those Russians are so smart. First the elections, next those gold medal-winning Russian Olympic figure skaters, who were actually banned but somehow got to skate anyway. And now we have the ever-present Asian lady beetle. 

Sometimes, it all seems just too much to bear. 

And then I think back to “Red Dawn.”

Those of you lucky enough to have been alive in the 1980s surely recall, at the end of the movie, Americans take back their country. To honor the teens, who gave up their lives in the movie, a plaque is inscribed for them as follows:  

“In the early days of World War III, guerrillas – mostly children – placed the names of their lost upon this rock. They fought here alone and gave up their lives so ‘that this nation shall not perish from the earth.’”

And with those words, as read out to me in the closing credits by Patrick Swayze, I’m once again ready to do battle. 

Comments? You can email Angel Kane at [email protected] Becky Andrews and Kane are the brains behind Telling Tales, a weekly column in The Democrat.

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