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Sinclaire Sparkman: No venom for Valentine’s Day

Sinclaire Sparkman • Updated Feb 16, 2018 at 1:00 PM

I surprised myself this year by not being angry at the holiday made especially for people in love. I’ve gone through Valentine’s Day both single and taken, and for some reason single people take it really personally that this holiday exists, and in the past I was no exception. 

The argument against it goes something like ‘they just want your money, don’t give in to the lies of consumerism, you’re obviously a sheep if you celebrate anything,’ followed by angry tears because the person probably hates being alone.  

Like a friend of mine said, a lot of the anti-Valentine’s Day venom is rooted in jealousy and envy. It’s just a way to express the emotional immaturity of the lonely heart. This year, my lonely heart was able to say, I’m happy for the existence of love and I want to celebrate that even though I don’t have “my person.”

Love is an amazing thing. Not only does it make us do crazy things, it breaks barriers. We as humans are often guilty of going down a spiral of dispute, losing sight of the basic motivation of sympathy, and beyond that, grace. Seriously, without love, what are we? 

There is no love without compassion, and if we lose sight of that, we are truly lost. There’s been a lot of talk about bullying in our community recently. I’m sure you realize it’s not just the high schoolers that do it, but neighbors and those we’d love to call friends, too. Maybe we even push back with our own hurtful words or passive aggressive actions. The thing about grace is, it doesn’t stop. There is always a chance to be the bigger person and either walk away or face the situation with maturity. 

Just keep in mind, there’s always a reason that doesn’t matter at the end of the day. What really matters is love and moving forward.

Something else that surprises me is that people generally want to be good. Self-hatred aside, no one actually wants to be a bad person. As our world continues the separate itself from the primal mindset that was at one time necessary for survival, it is really a wonderful thing to celebrate love, the basic reason for our existence, even if the holiday gurus say flowers and chocolate are the only way to express it on Feb. 14.

Believe me, I’ve been the voice that cries consumerism will steal your soul and eat your chance at true happiness, but somewhere in this last stretch of life I learned that holidays, including Valentien’s Day, are inevitable despite any negative ramblings. It’s honestly better to enjoy the celebration than to spend time being the negative voice that people want to hide on Facebook.   

Yes, we buy things, we plan things, but why is that bad? Stress is based on an underlying emotion about the thing that’s causing the stress. Embracing the holiday spirit, whatever the time of year may be, just makes living more fun, because honestly, there’s always another holiday right around the corner. Go into Walmart the day after Valentine’s Day and they’ll be counting down the days until Easter. If it weren’t Easter it would be St. Patrick’s Day. After that it will be Cinco de Mayo, July 4th, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and the list goes on all year. 

You don’t have to drain the wallet to show love, just take some time to breathe and consider being delightful instead of dreadful. Those around you will love you all the more for it.

 Sinclaire Sparkman is The Democrat’s news editor. Email her at [email protected]

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