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Jacob Smith: The secret to freaky fast delivery

Jacob Smith • Updated Dec 21, 2017 at 1:00 PM

The Lebanon Democrat sits a mere 2.43 miles from the Jimmy Johns at 109 Signature Place in Lebanon, according to jimmyjohns.com. 

Despite the close proximity, however, they won’t deliver to the office. 

“We only deliver up to 1.8 miles away,” I was told when I called to ask why. 

To put this in perspective, 1.8 miles is about the distance between Walmart and Interstate 40. 

So, all those weird commercials on the radio where the guys talk about how fast Jimmy Johns’ delivery is suddenly make a lot more sense to me. I’d be fast too if everywhere I had to go was within 1.8 miles of me. 

I grew up in a small town about 10 minutes east of Lascassas called Milton. In Milton, it wasn’t a surprise that anyone wouldn’t deliver to us. The nearest restaurant was a McDonalds that was 12.3 miles away. 

I remember one time, we found out Jason’s Deli would deliver to anywhere within Rutherford County. Of course, the farther the driver had to drive, the larger the up charge on the meal would be. 

We ate like kings that day for the reasonable price of around $50 for two of us. It was totally worth not having to change out of my pajamas if you ask me. 

Greek Row at Middle Tennessee State University is 2.3 miles away from Murphy Center – also at Middle Tennessee State University. So if there happened to be a Jimmy Johns at one end of the campus and you wanted a sandwich delivered to the other, sorry Charlie, it’ll have to be a pickup order. 

Not to mention, that means a lot of students at MTSU walk about the same distance to class as Jimmy Johns will deliver; my teachers never once commented on my ability to get to class “freaky fast.”

Come on Jimmy Johns, I just want a delicious sandwich with the bare minimum amount of meat and way too much lettuce without ever having to leave the comfort of my office chair. Is that really so much to ask? 

How many places in Lebanon does Jimmy Johns even deliver to? If The Democrat office is out of the question, then I know they’re not going to a vast majority of the homes in the city. I live in Pointe Barton, and not even the nearest pizza place will deliver out there. 

I was so excited to move to a “big city” like Lebanon where I assumed all of the local restaurants would be willing to go a couple of miles down the road for some business; now I find out that Jimmy Johns, the self-proclaimed kings of freaky fast delivery, won’t even go 2.43 miles down the street. 

Maybe I can convince the good folks at Jason’s Deli to venture out into Wilson County. 

Jacob Smith is a staff writer for The Democrat. Email him at [email protected] and follow him on Twitter @wilsonnewsroom.

 

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