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It’s hard to believe there are no rednecks living here
Oct 27, 2012 4:20 pm
“You pay for the whole seat, but you only need the edge.”
– Mountain Man of Duck Dynasty
It’s been an entire week of posting and reposting a call to our Facebook fans in search for Wilson County’s biggest rednecks and still no leads … not even a nibble.
Shoot, I thought rednecks were proud. Where are my people? Is it a prerequisite that rednecks not own a computer? I know that’s not true, otherwise the American Redneck Society wouldn’t have a website.
That’s right. Type redneck in a typical Google search and this dandy site pops up right at the top of the list. Founded by executive director Rob Clayton, the American Redneck Society has a board of directors, free and premium membership options, benefits, redneck jokes and something called “redneckery.” There’s also an ARS scholarship program and, of course, a link to a petition in support of the Second Amendment.
Most everyone knows the redneck creed and companion bumper sticker, “You can have my .44 Magnum when you pry it from my cold, dead hand.”
For those rednecks out there who do have computers, make sure and find the American Redneck Society on Facebook. They are more than 14,000 fans strong.
Check out the ARS pledge:
“I am proud to be an American and affirm that the United States of America is one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. I embrace the historical heritage of the Redneck. This heritage includes men wearing red scarves around their necks while escaping religious persecution in Scotland centuries ago. It includes farmers whose hard work in the sun-drenched fields of this nation’s breadbasket burned their necks crimson red while keeping Americans fed. As a Redneck, I work hard and I play hard. As a Redneck, I am able to laugh at myself. In short, as an American Redneck, I have a sense of country and a sense of humor.”
Sounds good to me. Armed with my own Scotts-Irish heritage, I’m now an official member.
That’s because I’m not afraid to proclaim my redneckedness – yes, as an official member of the redneck society, I can now make up my own words.
So I can’t understand why, if it’s so easy for me to embrace the redneck way, aren’t there at least a few full-blooded, dyed-in-the-wool, rednecks out there proud enough to speak up and let us share their stories? I believe as a fellow redneck, that’s really not too much to ask. After all, I share my adventures here every week.
The fact is, rednecks have been around for centuries, but only in the past three decades did Jeff Foxworthy make it a household institution. Television shows like My Big, Fat Redneck Wedding or my favorite, Duck Dynasty, embrace the pride that comes with being a redneck.
And that was the idea behind our request. It’s certainly not to embarrass or make fun of anyone. The idea is to celebrate the redneck way for those who may not be familiar. Quite frankly, I want to know what makes the Wilson County redneck tick.
Folks, I’m from Alabama. Necks don’t get much redder than on the folks down there.
I once knew a man who had a wallet made solely out of duct tape. I’ve seen places most folks have never laid eyes on from the roll cage of a dune buggy. Olympic divers don’t hold a candle to a redneck with a rope swing in his hands at the lake.
So the challenge has been handed down. We’ll see if anyone is redneck enough to accept it. I hear no true redneck can resist a dare.
Just know this, there may be a little redneck in all of us, but there’s a lot of redneck in a few of us. Ponder that for a while.
Jared Felkins is The Democrat’s director of content. He may be reached at 615-444-3952 or email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @PaperboyFelkins.