Since then, I have realized that my boyfriend and I may not be as compatible as I once thought. We discussed it, and he’s willing to do anything to make it work. But some things can’t be changed, such as his interests and small quirks he has. I’m having a hard time because I want to break things off, but then I worry that he could be “the one that got away.” Any advice would be appreciated. — LOOKING FOR THE ONE
DEAR LOOKING: As you have found, distance doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder. Keeping someone around not because you’re crazy about him, but because you’re afraid if you don’t he will be the one who got away is not a reason to continue the relationship.
Your breather has shown that he may not be “the one” after all. That’s a good thing, and not something to be afraid of. So do the kind thing and let him go. That way he can find someone who loves him – quirks and all – and so can you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.