Dads2Dads: Bruno has idea of marriage all wrong
Nov 14, 2015 at 6:00 PM
Such was the case when we happened upon a tune by Bruno Mars called “Marry You.” You may remember it. It had a memorable melody, a catchy refrain and a good beat. Plus, we usually like Bruno. So we were a bit put off when we read the lyrics.
It turns out the song tells the tale of two people who hook up, have too much to drink, and think getting married would be a thrill. The song starts out this way: “It’s a beautiful night/ We’re looking for something dumb to do/ Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.”
It gets worse. The lines that really got to us were these: “If we wake up and you wanna break up that’s cool/ No, I won’t blame you/ It was fun, girl.”
That’s the most laissez faire, least reverent interpretation of marriage that we’ve heard in a long while.
The right model
We believe marriage is a special vow between two people who have given their relationship some heartfelt consideration. It’s about love, commitment, honor, trust and respect, not because you’ve consumed too much Patron tequila, have a pocket full of cash, and stumble across an available chapel.
We think marriage should be entered into reverently. It’s a sacred pledge of love and devotion to another person. We adults have a duty to provide a good model to our children.
The marriage of two people forms a bond, creates a family and often establishes a rich environment for nurturing children. The United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights affirmed that “the family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society.” It should not be entered into lightly.
Teach our children well
How do our kids learn about marriage? Is marriage a casual commitment signified by Bruno’s song, or is it an opportunity to teach our children about the beauty of such a union?
We continue to search for life partners. Commitment is in our genes. In fact, the Pew Research Center reports that divorced or widowed adults are about as likely to remarry today as they were more than 50 years ago.
Maybe Bruno’s view of marriage is out of touch. Perhaps today’s fewer marriages show that couples are taking more time before they tie the knot.
As Justice Kennedy wrote in the recent Supreme Court decision on marriage this past summer: No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were.
Teach your children about the sanctity of a marriage commitment by living it.
Tom Tozer and Bill Black are authors of “Dads2Dads: Tools for Raising Teenagers.” Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter @dads2dadsllc. They are available for workshops. Contact them at email@example.com.