I imagine he is relearning them right now.
S: Q 7 6 3
H: J 10 7
D: K 7 2
C: J 9 4
West (other pesky opponent)
S: 9 5 4
H: K Q 9 6
D: J 9 6 5
C: 5 3
East (pesky opponent)
H: A 5 4 3 2
C: A 10 8 7 6 2
South (exasperated wife)
S: A K J 10 8
D: A Q 10 8 3
C: K Q
East is dealer. North-South are vulnerable. East-West are not.
East South West North
one heart one spade two hearts pass
three hearts pass four hearts pass
pass double pass pass
Even though the hand record stated that East-West should make four hearts, they went down three for a minus score of 500.
North seemed pleased until his wife told him they could have made four spades for 620.
“Why didn’t you raise my spades?”
He replied (making matters worse), “I only had four spades and seven points.”
I’m sure she snarled her reply, which was, “You could have raised me with only three spades and six points.”
His last response was even goofier than the first. “I didn’t know how strong your hand was.”
They are still married but I think her dentist had to fix her teeth where she had ground them down so much.
There are at least three things married people shouldn’t try to teach the other, bridge, how to hang wallpaper and how to drive.
East’s opening bid was horrible also.
Nancy Evins, of Lebanon, is a certified bridge instructor. Email her at email@example.com.